


Mirror Image

by cocacolajellybean



Category: Oasis (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-27 18:53:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17167451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cocacolajellybean/pseuds/cocacolajellybean





	Mirror Image

Somewhere in the UK at dawn. The soft tapping of the rain in the window glass was keeping him awake. “Not those thoughts again” said to himself as he stood from bed, and walked to the bathroom. He turned on the light, trying not to wake her. “My poor Sara” sighed as he finished dressing and went downstairs, got a pen and a piece of paper and started writing. After all those years, he knew that was the only way to let bad feelings go. Sometimes he would end up composing a good song out of them.

 

“For Liam:

It’s past midnight and I just thought I had to write to you. I haven’t had the courage to confront you, so I try to do it in the best way I can. Writing. Today was gloomy and the humid weather made me think about you the whole day. I thought about our Manchester, on a rainy Saturday. Birds flying over our home, and mum cooking. We would’ve spent the evening getting high on some alley, and then we would’ve had a few drinks. You would’ve wanted to chase some girls. You’ve been good at that always. You were the popular one with the girls. But those days are gone, I suppose.

Why did we have to end up like this? I used to blame you for all the weird shit that happened between us. But after all these years I’ve accepted part of my fault. Because I was supposed to look after you, and instead I messed up things. I can’t even remember the first time. But it doesn’t matter anymore. We are over. I can’t believe how many years have passed since the last time we were face to face. I already forgot how your presence feel around, even though I try really hard sometimes. I have whispered your name on her ear a few times while we make love. Poor Sara, she loves me much. Last time I did she went crazy, and threw things over the whole room and tried to hit me with a lamp on the head, but she failed on purpose. She knows I think about you. Don’t hate her, she has had a rough time too. She’s not a bad person.

I’ve heard your new songs on the radio. They’re really good. “For what it’s worth” is my favorite one. I secretly feel jealous for not being the author of it. And also I feel jealous because you’re singing now someone else’s songs. But I just wish the best for you. Sometimes I imagine I go to your place. I knock the door. And when it opens I finally see you once again. But I can’t decide whether just act normal, as if nothing has happened; or should I get on my knees and ask for your forgiveness.

Have you ever wondered how it would’ve been if we have had normal lives? If we never had sailed into all this craziness about being on a band. I have, several times. I’ve created tons of scenarios of ordinary lives… Have any of that happened if we had been normal lads? That’s what really hits me over and over again. I would give up a lifetime of success for a simple and ordinary life, in which we still have each other.

You know what’s the worst part of missing you? It’s that I would think of you whenever I look in the mirror. I would see you. Because, you know, we’re brothers, after all, and we somewhat look alike. And it would remind me how wrong it was to do those things with you. My little brother. The harm I have done to you… If I could ever earn your forgiveness. Please, forgive me. I know you will.

As I’m writing this I’m also putting this letter on the mail. I won’t put it on my own mailbox because I found out Sara had been destroying all the previous ones. But I’ve written others after that, and I’ve destroyed them myself before sending them. If this one gets to you, well, then you will know I didn’t regret, and that I mean every word I’ve written down.

Love,  
Noel.

PS: you will always be my idiot.”

 

By the time he got to the nearest mailbox it had stop raining already, but the streets were all puddled. A thick layer of mist covered all, and the city lights reflected on the floor. Noel doubted before throwing the letter into the mailbox. “You’re doubting again” thought. He stood there for a brief time. And after thinking it over and over again, he decided to destroy the letter. And as he did it, tears went down his face. “You’ll always be a coward and deserve every insult.”

When he got back to his house, his missus was already woken up and waiting for him.

“Don’t worry” he said to her, “I wasn’t able to do it.”


End file.
